If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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