If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
