I don't think brook has ever known best
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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