he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
