I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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