I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
