i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I fill condoms, not promises.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
