so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
