Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
