We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
True strength comes from lack of pants
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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