On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
