allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
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.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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