Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
