pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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