i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Can I color on your dick again?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
