I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
