you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
