yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm both gender and math confused
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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