Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
