he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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