He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
