If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
