Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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