WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
