Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
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Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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