Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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