dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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