is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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