the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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