i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
love makes seman taste better
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
