you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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