How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
