ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
