In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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