I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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