He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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