He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize