Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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