sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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