i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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