Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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