I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
