he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he thought i was a dude.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
