Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
