All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
