Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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