Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
