evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Success! We fucked roommates!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
