one might say we're banned from that church
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
