i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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