Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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