he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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