my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize