btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
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I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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