I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize