Only a mothe r could love this liver
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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