Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
