Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
