but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
