member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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