I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
