I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish I only lived at night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
