Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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