but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
