Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
