I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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