On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
